So today was my graduation day. The day that everyone dressed up and celebrates all of their hard work. I finished my degree a year and a half ago, so there really was enough time to plan it.
I had a rough time yesterday, and today because of it. I was dreading it a lot. At some point today, I came to the conclusion that forcing myself through it was only going to set me back, and I was only really planning to do it for other people.
While I fell into the trap of, “but I might regret not going in years to come”, I realised that setting boundaries for myself, no matter how big the occasion is, was never going to be something I regret. So instead of letting myself stick in a hole and pretend it’s not happening, I met myself half way. I compromised.
I didn’t need to get all dressed up, only to feel insecure the whole time. I didn’t need to walk across the stage and shake the hand of someone I probably never met the whole time I was at uni. So, I put on a fairly nice outfit, took a walk to where it was and met my friends there afterwards. I knew not seeing them all again for probably the last time is the part I really might regret in the future.
I loved seeing them. They noticed the weight difference since they last saw me and I got asked a few questions, but nothing that felt too personal. I didn’t feel judged at least. They all looked so fancy and made such an effort, but I didn’t feel out of place.
So the positive part of this post is that I can sleep better tonight knowing I made the right decision for me. I set boundaries for myself, and honoured them, which I can only hope I continue to do, but I know for sure I won’t regret.
So congratulations to me, for graduating, and for growing ✌🏼